The Care And Feeding of Your New Neck or Body

Greetings Earthlings. In today’s installment of “Huh..?!,” we are going to highlight some do’s and don’ts that we have learned over many moons when it comes to guitar and bass bodies and necks. Ready?

Care Instructions – Do’s and Don’ts

DO – take your time finishing and assembling your instrument

DON’T – leave it in the box for two years, in the garage, and then wonder why it is “extremely warped.” “Yes, your neck does look like an S…how long was it in the garage sauna again?”

DO – Spend some time researching shapes and thicknesses of necks

DON’T – wonder why your 990C neck feels like a baseball bat handle and not like the Wizard II neck you had imagined it would be.

DO – make sure your parts fit before you finish it in hot pink and teal lacquer

DON’T – call us because the J Bass pickups you purchased do not fit in the humbucker routs. We aren’t mind readers!

DO – stand in front of the mirror holding your guitar while doing Pete Townshend swirly arm rotations and waggling your tongue like Gene Simmons

DON’T – try to sling it around your neck without the neck bolted to the body. Only bad things can happen. We promise. Stop doubting us.

DO – understand that its wood and will have some inherent flaws because you know…it once was a living thing and had bugs chewing on it, lightning hitting it, birds pooing on it, bears scratching up against it, bees living in it…

DON’T – measure the numbers of Birdseye’s in a square inch with a magnifying glass. Do you see some Birdseye’s? Yes? It’s Birdseye maple. No Birdseye’s? NOT Birdseye maple. Only 3 Birdseye’s in a square inch? Still Birdseye maple. And no we can’t call the Birdseye maple supplier and ask them to put more Birdseye’s in it.

DO – Write funny love songs that you can sing to your significant other

DON’T – sing them to your significant other until you have tried them out on someone else. We’d suggest the cat. Or your Dad. Both will likely exhibit the same response.

DO – put some sort of finish on your body or neck pretty quickly

DON’T – let it “season” in the Barbecue grill in the back yard for 4 months. Its NOT the same as roasting.

DO – have fun and enjoy the process

DON’T – store hot dogs in your hot dog rout…they get squishy and gross.

DO – understand that your 21-fret neck won’t come with 22 frets.

DON’T – worry that your neck has Maccassar Ebony on the fretboard and not the Nascar Ebony that you ordered. They are the same thing…sort of…well you got the name wrong but we are pretty sure this is what you wanted. Rock the Casbah or Rock the Cashbox? Either way just keep rocking….

DO – ask us if you have any questions at all

DO – send pictures when it’s done because we STILL love looking at the amazing things you guys and gals build

DO – smile and have a great day ?

Peace. Thanks for reading about the care of feeding guitar and bass bodies and necks.